I want to stick my p in your. b.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
