Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
