I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
