He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
