you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize