Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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