i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
