Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
