This girl is more easily done than said...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
