Pappa wants mamma naked
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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