Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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