your room smells of hookers.
And success
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
