I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize