I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
