He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
