her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
