The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
