did you get engaged???
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Randomize
