You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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