Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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