I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
