I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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