A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
