dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
