I bet he comes in French.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
