I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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