I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
