Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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