I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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