"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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