if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Shame - the story of my life.
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