Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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