We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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