then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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