Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
