So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
