I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
