we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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