you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
