Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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