i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize