Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
