When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
