At least make sure they are 18
Why
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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