This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
