why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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