I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
