Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
