Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
whose ass print is on the piano?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
