i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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