I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
