dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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