This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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