sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
