Your tits are I can't wait for
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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