I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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