My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
