at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
